The Fox

Last week, as I pulled into my front yard, I spotted two foxes. As I opened my car door to go inside, the slight jingle of my keys grabbed their attention. The three us froze in anticipation of each other’s next move. I’ve heard stories about how sneaky and dangerous foxes can be and have been warned of how unpleasant a run in with them can turn out. After a moment, the foxes both fled into the night.

The very next day, I went back home to my parents’ house in Tallassee. And for a second, I thought maybe I had gone crazy because, there again… two foxes! Their silhouettes furtively moving in the moonlight before suddenly darting across the backyard. Later that night, I laid in bed and opened the TikTok app. The VERY first video was about… you guessed it… a fox. I honestly found it quite odd but nevertheless, I kept scrolling without giving it a second thought.

Later that week I was invited to do photography for a symphony and excitedly I said yes! During the duration of the show, the composer introduced her final piece, “The Rabbit and the Fox.” In an instant, my eyes flew open. I knew then that there was something I needed to pay close attention to. This was the fourth time in about a 5-day span that this mythical creature has appeared, both physically and metaphorically.

As the story played out, the fox appeared to be depicted of that of a cunning and sneaky nature. Very methodical in its actions, intentional. The audience reacted aloud with their disdain for the fox’s character. They collectively rooted against him and his ability to outsmart its prey. At the same time, I felt a curious sympathy for the fox. There was something so interesting about its cleverness and wit. I was captivated by its resourcefulness and ability to adapt.

Since this series of events, I have celebrated my 27th birthday. One that proceeded with a lot of questions and mystery. I realized that perhaps these encounters were not coincidental but a call to look within. As long as I can remember, I have felt misunderstood. In family, friendships, workspaces and relationships. The biggest thing that often comes up in a disagreement, is that I seem secretive and calculated. And you know what, hell yeah, I am.

I am not secretive in a sense that I am deceiving or slyly. But I do take pride in having something for myself. That is just for me and me only. Whether it is a plan, a prayer or a thought - I believe that some things should be held sacredly. Not to be overshared or shared altogether. But outside of that, having agile and adaptive like qualities are often over-looked as being positive attributes. Looking back on this year, every situation that was presented to me required a side of me to be alert, creative in my actions and intentional on what I chose to share and keep for myself. Being able to think and act three steps ahead. Moving through life in this way could cause those close to you to feel slighted for no longer having full access to you. But I am realizing that it is perfectly okay to set boundaries in the sake of self-care and self-preservation. This lesson helped me to find solace in the fear surrounding how I am perceived and allowed me to feel freedom in how I choose to show up for myself.

When the final notes faded into silence, the audience erupted in applause. I sat in reflection, contemplating the lesson that this unexpected messenger had brought into my life. I felt grateful. As I packed up my camera, I committed to carrying a piece of the fox with me. Aware and prepared to take on anything life throws my way.